cactus i.v.

By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
Hey, so I’m here to guest spot because I’ve got something to say. Relationships, what exactly defines one? Gosh, back in high school I remember being a “girlfriend” when a boy asked to hold my hand. [[I was slightly old fashioned]] PB & J boy [[Ed.’s note: see an older s&r column if […]

By C.D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
I had a conversation with a friend today that seemed to me oddly relevant.
Sorry. A little bit of background: This friend of mine is the kind of guy that’s on top of technology.  He’s got the nicest TV of anybody I know.  He has all the latest entertainment hardware.  All of his gadgets have […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
This is Tattoo’s wallet. You can think about stealing it, but the skull will tell you to back off.

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com
The countdown is on to the big game. On Sunday, the Indianapolis Colts will face the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI (41) in Miami. It will be a clash of the first two African-American coaches ever to coach in the Super Bowl. They are the greatest of friends, but you can bet that […]

I got cable in my apartment.
Basic cable – and only the free local channels, but that’s a step up from where I’ve been for the last 18 months.
I’m not a fan of television, and I loved that my TV was saved only for movie watching. But, since I told Cathy I’d start watching American Idol […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Every band has written a love song. In fact, many artists shape their careers around love songs. Paging Burt Bacharach.
Burt Bacharach is great and has penned some classic love songs – “(There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me,” “A House Is Not A Home,” “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head” and “What’s New […]

“Equal Tone”
Peter D. Oliver
all that day i died of woe
and sought dank refuge in earth below
under the sky that was of grey
i loved myself in such a way
that never again would i know such grace
for whom i sought was in my place.
i am he who i thought was God, in my own wink, in my […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate@hotmail.com
Kelli McAdams can describe her style in three words: fun, erratic and unique. I was on the street, looking for fashion, and this girl is what I found. Dressed in a red skirt reminiscent of The Wizard of Oz, a yellow top and pearls, with blonde streaked hair, she is the perfect example […]

One of the worst things in the world is being late and I am a professional late person. I say professional because I hate being late, but it never fails if you tell me to be somewhere at 10 I will definitely be there at 10:15-10:30.
Most of my friends realize they have to tell me […]

By Josiah Hager

Remember when starring in a TV show after a movie career meant your career was on the downslide? That’s still occasionally true, but no longer is the rule. The best example is, of course, Kiefer Sutherland. Think about it: does he for one minute ever wish he had spent the last five years […]

By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
…yea I guess I’m one too. It’s been about eight years now, and I’m not the proudest to admit it. I’m not even sure why I do it anymore. I crave the feeling of smoke in my lungs, but I hate how I reek and I hate the stains on my teeth. I […]

By BEN SZMANDA
Holy crap, Philip Roth likes sex.
The writing in his book Sabbath’s Theater is beautiful. The rhythm and flow of it is unexpected and natural, but the subject matter is relentless: average or unattractive people fucking for 500 pages.
It is a middle-aged man with a swollen prostate and fingers mangled by arthritis masturbating on […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I recently bought a pair of galoshes.
I know what you’re thinking. Galoshes? How trendy are those, Roxy? Where’s the flood, Roxy? How high are your socks, Roxy?
Cut me some slack. It’s not like I’m talking about ankle pants here.
My galoshes are trendy. Really trendy. I’d even say too far ahead of the curve […]

By CATHY S.
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Michelle sent a comment to For A. I. Fans Only because she missed last week’s premiere shows and wanted to know “about some dude making fun of all the judges because he wasn’t a good singer.”
There were several contestants last week who stood up to Simon and company so I’m not sure who […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
I picked up The Devil Wears Prada (2006) because I had heard from several people, young and old, that it was very entertaining. And it is in a lot of different ways.
If you are a fashion aficionado, you will love seeing all the outfits that the characters wear. Designer names are mentioned in […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
I used to think that working from home must be the best thing.
Then I worked from home – and it wasn’t the best. Wasn’t the worst, but not the greatest job I ever had. So I decided to take a step back and look at some of the pros, cons and definite musts if […]

By C.D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
Since I spent the last two weeks pretty much on the same topic, I would like to talk about the difference between philosophy and ideology.  I mean philosophy here in the personal or possibly functional sense not in the broader academic sense.The ideas are similar in that both are used to describe other ideas.  […]

By MEGAN G. CLOSE
meganclose(at)gmail.com
It actually snowed in Malibu last week. Malibu. California. And, being an East Coast native, I know that it’s much colder on that side of the country. Needless to say, I am ready for winter to end. And what better way to anticipate and celebrate such a great occasion than to plan […]

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com 
Graduate school started back up again, but I still made sure to keep my ears and eyes on the sporting world for you.
NFL: So it’s set. The greatest show in sports has its teams. Super Bowl XLI will feature the Chicago Bears versus the Indianapolis Colts and the first two African-American coaches to […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Last week, you saw the top of Tattoo’s toilet seat cover…
Now here’s the inside.
It gives you something to look at when you’re peeing, huh?

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Is it me or has the music world been pretty dry lately? The biggest music news as of late is The Game threatened to kick David Beckham’s ass and one of The Mamas and The Papas died – to which I say, “They were still alive?”
The problem may lie in the slash – […]

I’ve had my own apartment for the last 18 months, but that hasn’t corrected all my naivety. Just this week, I realized how cheap cold cuts are (and how a half a pound of turkey can last me two weeks). Seriously, for the price of one turkey and cheese on a roll at the deli, […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
This article is going to be more fun than the others because instead of trying to burn down your kitchen with my amazing recipes, I want you to pick up a phone and order or go out and try something new at your favorite restaurants. With each relationship I get into — with […]

Happy Birthday Lanie.

Love and cacti,
The cactus i.v. staff

By JOSIAH HAGER
Top Chef (Wednesday, Bravo) may not teach me how to cook, but it teaches me something about chefs: these people love to drink. Alcohol in all its glorious forms seems to flow freely at any possible lull in time. If they’re not cooking or sleeping, it’s a good bet they’re drinking.
Drinking habits aside, […]

By BEN SZMANDA
The novel “Unfinished Funeral,” by Niccolo Tucci, charts the wretched trajectories of Ermelinda Triton and her hapless children.
Ermelinda grew up watching her sister’s husbands humiliate them with embarrassing affairs. This was the way the world worked — her father did it to her mother, too — but she was determined not to let […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Welcome to the winter. I bet your skin sent you an invitation to the season before my greeting.
Not fun, right? Snowball fights with your boyfriend and excuses to huddle close and drink hot chocolate are great reasons for the winter. But dry, cracking skin is something I can pass on – even though […]

By CATHY S.
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Before anything else, we at For A.I. Fans Only, want to congratulate Jennifer Hudson on receiving her Golden Globe award for Best Supporting Actress in Dreamgirls. Randy must be proud of his “Wild Card” pick of Season 3. We are too!
So what did you think of the Minneapolis show? A few people from […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)gmail.com
The Last Kiss (2006), a movie about love and its chaotic consequences, centers around four men in their 30s experiencing the ups and downs of relationships. Directed by Tony Goldwyn (Carl, from Ghost) and adapted from the Italian movie L’ Ultimo Bacio, the main story centers around Michael (Zach Braff) and his live-in […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
You almost didn’t have a new food and drink article this week. I had quite the crisis and almost went to Chicago Thursday afternoon. I really don’t feel like explaining for the one-millionth time what happened but just know I quit my job and am quite happy to start a new chapter in […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
I love to go into people’s closets. Not in a creepy snooping kind of way, but just to see what type of clothing people wear to work. The profession will dictate the clothing, and that is when I began to ponder about the whole topic of dressing for the job.
Many would agree that pajamas […]

By C.D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
Hey! Thanks for coming back.
If we are going to formulate any kind of idea about the meaning of “Soul Power,” we should first take a look at the two terms in the phrase.
Power can mean a lot of things, but is still the easiest to define so I’ll start with it.
With regards to […]

By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
Sex and relationships – those are just some things I’ll be writing about this Saturday.
I must say good-bye to all my Wednesday readers. In a strong move, we’ve decided to cross-promote with eSensuality.com. In exchange of something he’s doing for us, I’m writing a weekly sex-based article for his site. I’m not sure […]

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com
Welcome back! It’s hard to believe that another week has come and gone already, but it was certainly filled with lots of action in the sports world.
NFL:The NFL playoffs are in full swing with it down to the last four teams vying for that coveted Lombardi trophy. The Chicago Bears, the New Orleans […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
This is James’ toilet seat cover. What does yours look like?

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
L.A. or the Old West? Down in the Valley (2005) asks, “Where would you rather be?”
I’m a big fan of Edward Norton (American History X, Death to Smoochy), so I rented Down in the Valley, also starring Evan Rachel Wood (Thirteen, The Upside of Anger), David Morse (The Green Mile, The Slaughter Rule) […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Today’s a day off from school, and for some, a day off from work. You’re sitting at home, wishing there was something to do besides watch television.
You can go discover new music, ya know.
I’ve been patiently waiting the wave of new albums to come pouring out. January is always a lame month for […]

I work at a newspaper, and we run corrections when we make a mistake. More often than not, the corrections are because we’ve been given misinformation. But, alas, it is the duty of the newspaper to correct it.
Take this as my correction.
Last week, I told you that Atari Jay’s final sex and relationships column would […]

By BEN SZMANDA
From the introduction (written by Jay McInerney): “The mix of downtown fashion sensibility and literary ambition can seem a little lumpy. The Fall Protest Issue attempts to mix fashion and radical politics- with models posing as protesters and Scarlett Johansson looking almost Maoist on the cover. But most of the best pieces published […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I was getting new tires the other day, which turned out to be a nightmare. If this was a horror column, I’d be telling that story instead. I spent two hours in the waiting room, watching a television that was on Jerry Springer’s “I’m lesbian and I’m pregnant” episode. Let’s clear that up. […]

By CATHY S.
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Donald and Rosie feuding, Justin and Cameron breaking up, Whitney Houston’s possessions being auctioned off by her storage company, who cares? The only news that really matters is who just got voted out of American Idol.
Yes, it’s that time again. We have something to talk to our co-workers about, finally. Something that brings […]

By Megan G. Close
I cringed slightly upon spotting a quote hailing “The Night Listener” as a “Hitchcockian” film. Usually when someone says this, it means that there are shadows and a certain degree of suspense. That term has become a film critic’s cliché. However, while I would compare this film more to M. Night Shyamalan […]

By C.D. ALLEN
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
Even though it kind of got eclipsed in the news, I’m sure most of you heard James Brown passed away on Christmas day.
I went to the funeral and have some amazing pictures and video, but I can’t really say anything you can’t already find elsewhere – except perhaps it was the least funeral-like funeral […]

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com
Well, well… What a sports week it has been! It certainly hasn’t lacked excitement!!
NCAA Football: The “big” bowl games are now in the history books and certainly disappoint with some excitement, though no game was better than that Boise State game. Wow, I watched the end of the game on YouTube since I […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Lisa loves this egg — so much that she wants it. Whatdya think James?

By MEGAN G. CLOSE
meganclose(at)gmail.com
Being less than excited over the new releases opening last weekend, I decided to play a little bit of catch-up. My choices were “Blood Diamond” and “The Good Shepherd.”
These films were seemingly only connected by the great actors, but I found they addressed almost all of the same themes. Fathers and sons, […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Under the “General” section of James’ MySpace page, it says, “learning about relatively good music from Lisa.”
James likes Echoes with John Diliberto on Public Radio International and mid-to-low tempo exotic electronica. His heart doesn’t beat in time with pop-punk like mine does. Though our musical tastes differ, he still listens to me – […]

Remember a few weeks back when I was looking for that person who had a wireless connection. Well, I found him. And he found me. Turns out it was the computer shop across the street. A computer shop should know about securing a wireless connection. It does now and is mocking me by having two […]

 Happy 2007!
I’m sure most of you had a fun New Years. I was working until 2 a.m. I hope this year is a better year for everyone.
I haven’t made a resolution in four or five years, but this year I decided instead of complaining about how much weight I’ve gained I’m actually going to start […]

 A doctor goes to a farmhouse on a state appointed mission of mercy to meet with an attractive middle-aged woman. She lives in the middle of nowhere and is on a bunch of brain drugs; it only makes sense for a doctor to speak with her. The woman launches into a sob story about her […]

By JORDAN HATHAWAY
partygal23(at)gmail.com
While in CVS today, I ran into something that nearly knocked me off my feet. The stuff for Valentines Day is already out. It is three days after the New Year; does anyone else find this disturbing?
I’m not opposed to February 14, but why is it that we have to make a certain […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Go to the store, pick up any magazine or newspaper, and there is bound to be an article teaching you how to “Lose those holiday pounds” or “Get a better body… fast.”
I get it. Most people want a nip here and a tuck there (and if the majority of Americans didn’t, that damn […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Happy New Year!
Now is the time of year when everyone starts off with the best intentions. But, let’s be honest. They don’t always last. And some don’t even really get off the ground. But pat yourself on the back for trying something out.
I took a survey to see what people have planned for […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
This is the trunk of Tattoo’s car.

By C. D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
Man, I miss the Jetsons! I want a sassy robot and a flying dog that talks without needing to be stoned. I want my hot wife to cook with the push of a button. I want a car that flies, damn it! I suppose it is a little naïve to think everything […]

By SUSAN LULGJURAJ
yanxchick(at)gmail.com
Poker is still popular. Sure, it’s not plastered on every street corner or in every commercial as it was two years ago, but poker is still going strong.
If you walk into any poker room in Atlantic City (that’s where I live) there are bound to be games for anyone’s liking. From the low […]

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com
A very Happy New Year to you!! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday week and New Year’s! While you were all eating more food than you ever wanted and seeing more people than you thought you ever knew, college football sprung back to life. So this week’s column is devoted entirely to […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I talk. Fast. Like Six from “Blossom” fast.
And a lot. Like enough to make a scarf while I’m on the phone in one day a lot.
That’s why I hate movies. You pay $10 to go the theater, and all I want to do is hit the person next to me and say, “Did […]

Let me be the first at cactus i.v. to wish you a proper “Happy New Year!”
If you’re keeping up to date with our MySpace page, you already know that, though years fly by, mine didn’t.
I’ve only known James just about a year, and I feel like I’ve known him for my entire life. And I’ll […]