What’s In A Title?
By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
Hey, so I’m here to guest spot because I’ve got something to say. Relationships, what exactly defines one? Gosh, back in high school I remember being a “girlfriend” when a boy asked to hold my hand. [[I was slightly old fashioned]] PB & J boy [[Ed.’s note: see an older s&r column if you’re lacking knowledge of who that is]] and I have been “dating” for two months but I’ve been his girlfriend for about a week now.
I’m a brat and I’ve been pushing for the title all along. He’s one of those non-relationship types. He hasn’t had a girlfriend in years, and he had wanted to keep it that. [[Stupid boy for dating me in that case]] He says he was happy the way we were – just friends with a little extra on the side. We were like the ideal boyfriend and girlfriend. He was over every night, we held hands in public, he spent new years at my family’s house, and we could’ve won the gold medal in kissing if life was an Olympic sport. But the honeymoon ended every other week when we fought about the definition of our friendship. I wasn’t happy; I especially hated introducing him as my “friend.” We went to the same high school and we constantly ran into past classmates, but every time they asked if we were together it was a look down to my feet and a shake of my head.
I’m not just after the idea of having a boyfriend. About two weeks ago a dear friend, Annie, asked me out. I was shocked because as long as I have known him he’s never been a relationship type. I never expected such a question out of his mouth. It pretty much went, “I don’t want a girlfriend. I’m too young to have one and I just don’t like them. You make me happy and I can’t stand not being with you. Will you be my girlfriend?” Sweet, I know. I asked if he was sure because I knew I wasn’t. He kissed me and I guess that meant we were dating because later that night he text me and called me his girlfriend. For a week I avoided him, every call, and every text. In that week, PB & J asked me to be his girlfriend. He told me he was ready to handle a title because he knows he loves being around me and the only change would be the title. I happily accepted because he was who I really wanted. Two days later Annie texted me saying he thought I was too busy to have a relationship, I was beyond happy. [[I’m horrible at dumping people]] If I was only after the title I would have made things work with Annie, and there’s no doubt in my mind that things would’ve worked out.
I’ve always told my friends that a title means nothing. It’s just a word made by society to define the person who kisses you. A boyfriend could be an amazing guy who loves you, or a boyfriend who be a guy who abuses you and treats you horribly. Is it really fair to give such guys the same title? A title is just to show the rest of the world who you like – or don’t like for that matter. As long as you know how you feel about this person it shouldn’t matter what anyone else knows. The rest of the world isn’t in your relationship so it shouldn’t matter what the rest of the world knows.
I’ve never felt so wrong until I started dating PB & J. I was proud to be his and only his. When we were dating he said he’d give me exclusiveness but he didn’t want a title. That was so not good enough for me. I wanted to tell the whole world how I felt about him, and that word was boyfriend. He’s my best friend and we talk everyday, I love it when he lies next to me, and only he’s allowed to kiss my lips. We can spend the entire day in bed and not once stop laughing. We’re dorks who fall asleep on the phone together every night. [[I adore his snoring]] He’s the boy on my mind 24/7, he makes me smile, he’s the person I rushed home to show my new car to, and he’s the only boy who makes my feet warm. He did all this before we defined ourselves and he still does it now.
Nothing has changed. I guess a title isn’t that important, but to me it is.
C!ao
[[pssss check me out on Saturdays now]]