cactus i.v.

Dear Niki,
So I’m engaged to the most wonderful man, and he has the most amazing family. However I’m having a problem with the wedding planning with his mother. His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and are taking control of who should be invited, but it’s our wedding rehearsal. I also hate the place […]

By BEN SZMANDA
This is what I like about Elizabeth Inness-Brown: She knows that when you’re a kid, you lean backwards and put your hands behind your head because that’s what you do in cartoons and in old movies when you’re relaxed. She knows this fact, and innumerable other childhood truths, and details them in “Territory,” […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
[[Editor’s note: I know my mom reads the site, and so do her friends. And I’d advice them against reading this column. It’s not family-friendly]]
Jordan – ya know, ex-late night, ex-sex and relationships – and yours truly were helping our friend get ready for a date, recently.
Okay, it wasn’t a date. It was […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
Children of Men (2006)
How would mankind react to the possibility of extinction? Some turn to God, some turn to violence, and others just wait to die. Theo (Clive Owen of Closer and King Arthur), a man who was once an activist against injustice, loses his will to fight after “chance” deals […]

by Cathy S
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Chris Sligh was almost everyone’s pick to be in the bottom three this week. He kept getting the same comment from the judges week after week that his vocals are good, but he is rushing the tempo. I think America could see that since he hadn’t been able to improve on […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Oh, the life of a freelancer. No medical benefits. No retirement benefits. If you want the benefit of a day off, by all means, take it. But don’t look for that “personal day” benefit. We work holidays. We park further away than the staff employees.
Freelance has its ups and downs. […]

By C.D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
I would like to start this week by thanking reader Mike for suggesting this week’s topic. I hope I can do it justice.
When I wrote about IRL three weeks ago, I focused mainly on how the Internet is falsely assumed to be different from the rest of reality. This week I will (hopefully) […]

By JENNIFER KARPIK
pshh_jenxownsx0@hotmail.com
I think having confidence in someone is one of the most important things in a relationship. Without confidence, you — or the other peson — don’t have the strength, physically or mentally, to do something you want. A relationship consists of two people. Obviously. The two people in that relationship should trust eachother, […]

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com
As March quickly comes to a close, Atlanta will see the likes of Georgetown, Ohio State, Florida and UCLA take to the court in the men’s NCAA basketball tournament this weekend. It should prove to be an exciting Final Four (all of which I am probably going to miss… seriously, who schedules […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
What would Freud think of this?

Update by LISA SOKOLOWSKI.
There was 2:10 left in overtime when it hit me. I was rooting for the wrong team.
My mom and I were watching the North Carolina vs. Georgetown game, and we were both rooting for the Tar Heels. UNC is my favorite school because I love the foot. It would make sense, then, […]

Let’s talk about how much I hate laundry.
Literally, I can do without it. I came to my parents’ house this weekend — and I brought three things of laundry in tow. Not three loads, but three laundry, let’s say containers. I had a laundry bag and two laundry baskets full. If you ask my parents, […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Everyone has my MySpace song.
Out of all the millions of pages on the site — and out of all the people I know — I swear everyone is rocking Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend.”
This band wagon’s full, please, catch another.
Seriously.
I’m about to add Kayne West’s remix of Fall Out Boy’s “This Ain’t A Scene, It’s […]

Update by LAURA SIMON.
Let’s just put this out there… I have always despised Ohio State. And they did not hesitate to reconfirm that hatred again yesterday when they beat Memphis. That hurt (well, really Texas A&M losing hurt, but I would prefer to blame everything on Ohio State). The Buckeyes defeated Memphis in the […]

“A Wound My Own”
By Peter D. Oliver
i ran and dove into a pool
where there was no me
and there was no you
all i saw was
the mistakes i’ve made
all i’ve lost
in it for eons
i fear i’ll wade
all the love i stole
how i promised to love you
then did, with all my wits, try to destroy myself
until you lose […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
Happy spring! Thursday’s weather was so nice in N.Y. I didn’t wear a jacket — and I have been known to wear one in eighty degree weather. I hate cold weather. I read once that Hawaii’s weather only changes twice a year; in the winter it drops from 86 degrees to 84. I’ve […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com
On this particular week, I had that itchy feeling on the bottom of my feet that told me I wanted something new. I’ve done the hair, the pretty, the style, but what about the one fashion problem that every girl has had a problem with?
The men!
I think I have mentioned this before, but […]

Update by LISA SOKOLOWSKI.
After Texas A&M lost and crushed my bracket in my pool at work, I kind of lost the excitement in the tournament. I have a dollar on the line in that pool. Turns out there were four games last night — which I didn’t watch a single second of — and I […]

By NIKI ANSWERS
askniki(at)gmail.com
Dear Niki - I’m dating a guy who has a girlfriend. He treats me amazingly. I see him every night and we are constantly talking on the phone. We are intimate, and I know he isn’t like that with his girlfriend. He said he would leave her for me, but I told him […]

By BEN SZMANDA
Nathaniel West gets a fair amount of respect, but I can’t help but feel like he should get a little more. Part of the reason he doesn’t get it, I think, is the type of stuff he writes: His major works are four relatively short novellas, each one more vicious and […]

Update by LAURA SIMON.
So what was the big idea pitting the NCAA Tournament against Grey’s Anatomy? I mean really… what was a girl to do? Unfortunately for you, Grey’s won me over, but I did flip to the games during commericals. And then there’s the fact the games went late after […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
Casino Royale, the newest edition to the Bond serial, introduces Daniel Craig (of Layer Cake and Munich) as the sixth actor to play the ultimate spy and cultural icon, James Bond. This movie is based on Ian Fleming’s first book of the series, starting off with Bond’s promotion to “double […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
It’s officially Spring. Although, that means nothing as far as the weather is concerned. It leaves me itching to wear skirts and dresses, but bundling up in layers of pants.
Spring fashion is a hoax.
I was reading something about how light dresses are going to be all the rage in the Spring – and, […]

By CATHY S.
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
I had Stephanie in my bottom three list for this week. I thought she seemed very nervous and sang off key at times during her performance. My co-workers disagreed with me and said she was wonderful and that she should not have been the one sent home. A family member […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
They are around every corner. Sitting, waiting to jump out and drive you nuts. They are the office nuances or the workplace pet peeves!
According to Wikipedia.com, a pet peeve (or pet hate) by definition is “a minor annoyance that can instill extreme frustration in an individual. Typically each person has […]

By C.D. ALLEN
cdallen(at)gmail.com
If you’re anything like me (which is both possible and impossible) then sometimes you know things without knowing how you know them. By this I mean intuition. This might sound supernatural to some, but I don’t think it has to be.
First, it’s not for me to say exactly what intuition “is.” […]

By JENNIFER KARPIK
pshh_jenxownsx0@hotmail.com
Has anyone ever told you to push someone to do something they really want to do? Have you been that friend, boyfriend or girlfriend to be pushy? If no, you better start now.
My boyfriend is extraordinary. He’s one of those boys I never imagined I would even come close to dating. I thought […]

By LAURA SIMON
laura.m.simon(at)gmail.com
As you’re well aware by now, March Madness is in full swing with two rounds of action already in the books. We have tried to keep you well informed of the happenings of the Men’s NCAA Tournament over the past few days, but there haves been lots of other things going on […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
How do you sign stuff? This is how Tattoo does. And… notice how the hole to blow out the egg is in the skull’s eyeball. I love it.

Update by LISA SOKOLOWSKI and LAURA SIMON.
Lisa: Susan left for Las Vegas yesterday, and I hope Vegas is better to her than the University was to me yesterday. See, No. 7 UNLV thought it would be a good idea to upset No. 2 Wisconsin 74-68. I had Wisconsin making it to the elite eight, so […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I almost took my brother to Ozzfest one year. He had gone the year before, and I wanted to take him the next year. But he said no because there wasn’t anyone he wanted to see.
I wonder what he’ll say this year.
The lineup hasn’t been announced, but the ticket prices have. Tickets are […]

If you’re lucky, you live somewhere other than the Northeast. The weather here has been ridiculous. I feel like a child whose parents have joint custody — well, if my parents were Winter and Spring.
On Monday, it was gorgeous. I was out in a three-quarter sleeved shirt and jeans, and I was so warm. Tuesday […]

Update by LISA SOKOLOWSKI.
I covered high school sports for five years, and I completely forgot how much I liked basketball until yesterday. I was sitting in my snowed-in apartment, watching my bracket fall apart as No. 1 Ohio State was trailing No. 9 Xavier by nine. With five seconds left, I crossed Ohio State off […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
All week long I have smelled ripe bananas in my fruit basket on my kitchen table. I kept saying I was going to do something with them, but didn’t until Friday night. I couldn’t go out because of the snow, so at about midnight I made chocolate covered bananas. Yummy!
I didn’t have a […]

“Call That In for Me, Dear.”
By Peter D. Oliver
may cause dizziness
Rx4497860
Rx05066789
Rx6933040
qty : 190
do not drink alcoholic beverages with this medication
take one tablet 2 -3 times daily as needed (or, as ur illness dictates)
refills :eternal
500mg/100mg/2mg/1mg/ - Boom !
hold tab down - click
shhhhhh… she knows ur taking more than you need ( damn squeaky drawer )
shhhhhh… she’ll […]

Update by LISA SOKOLOWSKI.
Hey everyone out there in NCAA land. Have these basketball games been consuming you as much as me? I keep refreshing the scores at work. I’m still not winning our pool. In fact, my friend Lauren — the only person not on the cactus staff who is in the pool — is […]

If you have a question for Niki, email her at AskNiki(at)gmail.com
Dear Niki,
I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 25. We’ve been dating for four months. Our relationship was a dream come true — until recently. My boyfriend asked me to stay with him during my spring break from college. For two weeks! I was a little […]

By BEN SZMANDA
Whether we choose to admit it or not, the subject of Elaine Pagels’ “The Origins of Satan” is by far the most intriguing character in the Abrahamic faiths. This makes sense: Perfect goodness is entirely predictable, and as most people will claim to aspire to it, stories of people mimicking our efforts […]

Update from LAURA SIMON — who turns 24 today.
Hello NCAA fans!!!! I am back from Houston and apparently that makes it snow?!?!?
Well, the first half of the first round of the NCAA Men’s Basketball
Tournament is in the books and here is our the cactusiv.com group has faired (the number is the number of correct […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
What do you get when you put Dane Cook, Harland Williams, Andy Dick and Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite in one Super Club store? You get a movie that can survive even Jessica Simpson as its leading lady.

Employee of the Month (2006) is a movie about a lovable slacker, Zach (Cook), who strives […]

By ROXT RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
My boyfriend’s grandma insisted on getting me a present for my (recent) birthday. I thought it was sweet. Grandma’s always give the best gifts. Sometimes they give you lotto tickets in cards — and lots of times they give you food.
And sometimes they make vests.
This was one of those times.
I’m not being ungrateful. […]

By CATHY S.
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
I’ve gotten used to Sanjaya making it through each week, so I have decided that my second pick is probably the better guess of who is going home. I, like many of you, guessed Brandon — even though I really wanted him to stay awhile. But, the former back up singer […]

Okay my lovely cactusites. Here’s the deal: The NCAA Tournament begins today, and I heard there are games that start at noon.
You know what that means?
Hurry your pretty little butts over to to this here Web site where the bracket lies and sign up. The password and group number are there, but in case you […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Cold and flu season is upon us. It’s almost inevitable that sooner or later you will be hit with the office stomach bug or awful cold. Office germs act like a chain reaction or daisy chain of casualties. Soon, the office looks like a war zone, empty chairs scattered everywhere, and […]

Yesterday, we here at the cactus mentioned the start of an NCAA Tournament bracket pool.
We’ve had eight people sign up, which is great, but… where is your bracket?
Go to this lovely link here and sign up.The password and group number are there, but in case you screw up, the group number is 140696 and the […]

By C.D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
Coming up this weekend is St. Patrick’s Day. For anyone that’s Irish, this means it’s time to celebrate being Irish. By this I mean getting drunk. For anyone not Irish, it means celebrating the fact that the Irish get a holiday. Again, by this I mean getting drunk.
I was […]

By JENNIFER KARPIK
pshh_jenxownsx0@hotmail.com
I’ve know more boys than you can count on both hands and feet. I’ve had more cliché moments than I should. I’ve been to the park and kissed the most extraordinary boys. I’ve been called more cute names than you can come up with.
I had still yet to be amazed.
I always meet someone […]

Laura’s our sports girl, and she lives for March Madness.
But do you know college hoops better than her?
Here’s your chance to go head-to-head… to head with the rest of the cactus staff.
Your favorite webzine has created a NCAA tournament bracket on yahoo, which you can find by clicking this link here.
The password and group number […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Is it just me, or do the eyes remind you of a Spirograph?

By SUSAN LULGJURAJ
yanxchick(at)gmail.com
March Madness is always a great time of year for sports fans, but for some it’s always a painful time of year.
What happens when your team  — which had a tremendous year and has all the accolades to get into the NCAA Tournament — is left out?
That’s what happened to Syracuse this year. […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Five years ago, New Found Glory was the answer to mundane airwaves. Pop princesses ruled the charts, and you couldn’t turn the radio on without hearing ballads fill the space between commercials.
New Found Glory, along with a major label home and budget, flew to the top of the TRL charts and opened the […]

I feel like I’m back in grade school because my crush on Blake Lewis is growing faster than Tyra Bank’s waistline.
Seriously.
I missed American Idol the week he sang Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know.” No one told me it was the greatest Blake Lewis sans beat boxing song I’d ever hear. I caught it on YouTube […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com
There are people who are outgoing. There are people who are always happy. There are smart people and dumb people, and, on a more physical basis, there are those with spots on their chins and bags under their eyes, Beyonce butts and huge ankles, bony elbows and big noses and crazy hair. There are […]

“Belial Dreamed”
By Peter D. Oliver
and in our faces evident the signs
of foul concupiscence
all of Heavens grace is laid waste.
for she and me are soppy fools
in love with skin and orifices
not soul and serenity and obedience.
for i am to cut her throat
the one who tempts me
i am to cut my own
the one who compels me.
solid goods […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
Hi and hello. Why is chicken parmesan such a popular meal? All of my friends say it is one of their favorite dishes. I asked my friend Brian what his favorite ingredients are, and he answered “The chicken and cheese. Anything with chicken and cheese is awesome.”
Then I asked some other people and […]

By Niki Answers
AskNiki(at)gmail.com
[[Editor’s note: The advice column returns after an extended hiatus. Niki Answers — not her real name, just like Dear Abby — sits down in the advice chair. Sure, she’s given me some crazy advice in the past — she once told me, “If breaking up was a walk in the park, you’d […]

By BEN SZMANDA
Former Newsday columnist Jimmy Breslin’s 2002 book The Short, Sweet Dream of Eduardo Gutierrez, tracks the life of a Mexican immigrant from his beginnings in a small town in Mexico to his early, gruesome demise on a construction site in Brooklyn. Breslin’s characteristic technique is on full display here: Eduardo’s personal sufferings cast […]

By CATHY S.
sokocathy(at)gmail.com
In case you missed A.I. this week, here are the Top 12:
Boys: Blake Lewis, Chris Richardson, Chris Sligh, Brandon Rogers, Phil Stacy and Sanjaya Malakar
Girls: Melinda Doolittle, Jordin Sparks, Haley Scarnato, Stephanie Edwards, LaKisha Jones and Gina Glocksen
How did we do picking out the Top 12? As a group, we have three boys […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Who wears the pants in the relationship?
That question is meant to ask which partner has the authority and control. But, taken literally, it’s hysterically out of context.
I don’t know about you, but, even though my boyfriend has killer calf muscles, I sure don’t want him wearing the skirt in the relationship.
Or the sundresses, […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
Okay, don’t ask me why but I bought Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006) today. I knew it was a risky move, being that I didn’t watch the movie first, but I thought that my liking the soundtrack (another random buy… I know, I have a problem) meant it couldn’t be […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
It’s a couple minutes until 12 and that means lunch time. As I walk to the second floor kitchen to grab my lunch box out of one of the three refrigerators, I take notice of the people already chowing down on their food.
The two microwaves and toaster oven are pretty much always in […]

By JENNIFER KARPIK
pshh_jenxownsx0@hotmail.com
I’ve always thought if a boy didn’t kiss me goodnight, things wouldn’t work or something was wrong. I had yet to be proven wrong. Not that I was testing this theory, I guess you can call it that, but because simple life proved it to me. A simple boy changed my mind.
The (short) […]

By C.D. Allen
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
If you’ve ever belonged to a forum, message board, online game, networking site or really ever tried to reconcile what you do “online” with what you do “offline,” then you’ve probably heard the phrase “in real life” a.k.a. IRL.
Now, the idea behind IRL is that what you do online is not related to […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
My boyfriend wanted me to join an adult softball league with him last summer, and I offered to be the cheerleader. Who cares that cheerleaders are usually reserved for football? It was a good way to get out of actually paying attention to the game. That’s how much I follow sports.
But, alas, I’m […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Broccoli is Tattoo’s favorite food. He can’t keep in it his fridge long enough to admire it… so he did a watercolor of it.

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I wanted to like Michael Jantz. I really did. I think it was the cover art. He’s standing, darkened out like a shadow by how the shot was taken. But, highlighted and bright in color is a guitar. It’s like he’s taking a backseat to the guitar.
Then there’s the name of the album: […]

I’m trying to rule the world. That’s nothing new. And I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that ruling the world involves getting paid to write.
With that being said, I found this Web site where you get paid per click [[it’s only pennies though, so don’t get too excited]]. So, how about you do […]

“Humbly Be”
By Peter D. Oliver
i am a humble bumble bee
i fly unfettered
i soar free
i’ve gazed river
i’ve skimmed sea
i’ve dreamed fallaciously of what plum’ ed bird i’d be.
as a pensive,humble bumble bee
i float thru memories of both woe and glee
the heart is low within this one
who flies beneath O’ pulsing sun
in these times i muse what […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com
There are all types of styles, and they are not limited to just the standard clique stereotype divisions, like punk, gothic, etc., which only very lame, unfashionable people use. Those same people who flaunt fake Chanel but proudly {and obviously} lie that it is an original. I mean, either save up for the real […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
We were weird last Sunday, and that was fun, so let’s throw a dinner party this Sunday and have even more fun! Write this down: You’ll need some friends that are available for dinner on a certain night. Decide what is best for you. I chose a Friday because I now work on […]

By BEN SZMANDA
It’s difficult to talk about Arundhati Roy’s the God of Small Things, and I have been putting off doing so, but as she has recently announced her intention to follow up her Booker prize winning first effort, I thought it about time to try. It is a very good book- one that […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Looking good doesn’t always come from your clothing. Those of you who just ran to the mirror to say, “Crap, she’s talking about my pimply face, isn’t she,” fear not. Sure, nice skin is important, but we’re all prone to breakouts.
I’m talking about other things you surround yourself with speaking volumes for you […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)gmail.com
When a comedian ventures into the world of drama, the transition can be very painful. When they act serious, it comes off as a caricature. Their silence seems forced, and you can’t help but feel that it’s in need of a laugh just around the corner. Successful transitions can be made, a great […]