cactus i.v.

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
We were required to take a health class in high school, and I remember the day we learned about sweat.
“Boys sweat,” my teacher said, “And girls perspire.”
Yeah… high school really prepared me for the real world.
Everyone sweats (paging Michael Stipe). I, one of the most conscious people in the world, sometimes has a […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
The Nanny Diaries (2007) is introduced to the audience as an anthropological case study, specifically a study of the child-rearing methods of women throughout history. The case study is being narrated by Annie Braddock (Scarlett Johansson of Lost in Translation and The Black Dahlia), a recent college graduate from New Jersey who […]

By TYLER DURDEN’S STALKER
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Hayden Panettiere. Sweet, sweet Hayden. Really, that’s the only adjective I can use to describe the young blonde bombshell.
I really like this girl who I first saw in the movie Remember the Titans. Remove the fact that she was able to recognize the difference between a nickel or a dime package, Hayden […]

I wanted the contest to be fun. We were averaging a comment a day on here, and I wanted to generate some conversation on the cactus.
It got out of hand.
There has been a mad rush this last week, with comment points nearly doubling. While that’s great for traffic numbers, I feel like it’s creating a […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Two weeks ago, I wrote about quitting the workplace. Last week, it was moving on from the workplace. This week, it’s when the job ends. Jobs ending could mean a couple different things. Let’s take a look at when employment is anything from permanent.
One temporary job springs to mind […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)hotmail.com
Some of you may be wondering what happened to me last week. Despite the rumors, I was not kidnapped by the Bush administration and forced to go hunting with Dick Cheney. No, actually, I experienced a computer meltdown. First Microsoft Word ate my column, then Microsoft ate my computer. But never fear, I […]

By MELODY
MyMelody4U(at)gmail.com
Recently, my entire life has been turned upside down — hence the disappearance from this column. This life experience has forced me to face some harsh realities and misdirected beliefs I had once embedded in my mind as facts.
I have always grown up believing that family is all you can rely on. All my […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
…aren’t the only ones with sobreros?

So, a little bit of detective work showed me that I missed Michelle L.’s birthday.
Dang it!
I didn’t want to have to wait until next August 25, so let’s all wish her a happy 26th birthday now.
Hey Michelle, does that mean I have to update your bio on the staff page? And, I promise I will […]

By TY FREER
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
Alas, here is Part Two of Ty’s Inaugural NFL Preview. Last week I knocked out the vastly superior AFC, going as far as picking the hated Patriots to make it to the Big Game. This week I will pick the lackluster NFC’s best team, which is kind of […]

Susan [[director of publicity and marketing]] and I were talking about the six coal miners who were stuck after a cave-in in Huntington, Utah.
We had this conversation last Monday, when hope of finding the miners was lost by all but the families.
My heart goes out to those families, it really does.
I live in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I hinted at this, and here is it: the sample.
I don’t get it.
Rap songs do it all the time, so I’m just going to leave that be. But, please, tell me why samples happen in pop music? There are so many songwriters out there, hoping to pen the next hit. So why, then, […]

Today our favorite food and drink writer — Michelle Riccardi — turns 23.
So, in honor of her birthday, we at cactus i.v. ask: What’s the recipe for your favorite birthday cake?
P.S. — e-i-c Lisa’s grandma’s birthday is the day after Michelle’s. She turns 86, so we at the cactus wanted to take a minute to […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com
So I never thought I’d say this, but here goes: Sometimes fashion mistakes are inevitable. For instance, my grandma has just arrived from England, bringing with her a boatload of stuff from Primark, the politest of which was a pair of lime green leopard-print leggings.
However, as much as it pains me to say […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
Happy Birthday to me! I graced the world with my presence 20 somewhat years ago (Age withheld because I have panic attacks every time I say it, but if you are one of my loyal readers you already know how old I am.)
[[Ed.’s note: Sorry Michelle. I already blew your cover in your […]

By BEN SZMANDA
There are some books out there that you really don’t understand until you’re partway through. “The Sound and the Fury” was like that for me: I knew there were multiple characters narrating, and I figured out when it changes over from one to the other, but I couldn’t tell which character was […]

By SOOZ
Yanxchick(at)gmail.com
Poker is not a sport. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
But does that mean it doesn’t belong on ESPN? Absolutely not.
Poker is a game people love to play. The level of competition has become so intense that it rivals even the biggest sports, but in this case, there is more money on the line. […]

Hey Niki,
So here’s what I need to ask you: I’m a mom of four and my husband and I disagree on how to raise our son (he’s the only boy). My husband wants him to play football and baseball. He wouldn’t care as long as it was sports related, however my son just doesn’t have […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
We’ve been told that dark colors and Earth tones should dictate our fall wardrobes.
It makes sense. Everything’s dying and turning from green to brown, so we might as well mimic the season with our clothes.
Yeah, get over that.
The fall and winter months are usually sluggish; people are yearning for the sun, the outdoors […]

By TYLER DURDEN’S STALKER
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Let’s play a game of Guess Who?
Your boyfriend hasn’t held your hand in public until yesterday. He cheats and rarely admits you’re an item. You’re hot and have one of the best bodies in Hollywood.
Who am I?
Well, if you’re Jessica Biel then you’re not happy. Apparently, Justin Timberlake, the former *NSync-er and […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
Notes on a Scandal (2006)
The film is narrated by Barbara Covett (Dame Judie Dench of Mrs. Henderson Presents and Casino Royale), a history teacher at a high school in London. Her narration is based on what she writes in her diary, the only outlet she can turn to in order to share […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Last week I wrote of getting fired in the workplace. This week, it’s leaving the workplace. It is just as good as getting fired, sort of.
Leaving a job can be the most gratifying thing to do. On the other hand, it can be the most nerve-wracking stressful decision ever to […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
In 1990, Firehouse wrote a popular ballad called Love of a Lifetime. I’m sure you’ve heard it. It’s a popular wedding song and a hit on any radio station that flourishes on sappy love songs.
But it’s all a lie.
It was written by Leverty and Snare, and I don’t know anything about them. They […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
If a flower is on an egg shell, what exactly do you call it?

By TY FREER
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
Here it is, Ty’s Inaugural NFL Preview! I thought I would do mine a few weeks before the season started so you wouldn’t say things like, “Ty, you piece of crap, you just copied off of Sports Illustrated! Think for yourself, man!” Because this is long, I […]

You may have noticed that we’re spending a bunch of time and focus to update the MySpace page — found at MySpace.com/cactusiv, if you didn’t know.
We’ve made the page cleaner. It looks more like a MySpace page. It’s white and simple, and it doesn’t take very long to open, which is a plus. Seriously, I […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I worry about the youth of today. Not because of global warming or teenage pregnancies, but because of cover songs.
Godsmack covered Genesis’ Land of Confusion — and released it as a single. Quietdrive did the same thing with Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time. And don’t even get me started on what Kris Roe […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
Being defined as a good or great cook is not based on how well you can follow a recipe, but about what you add to the drama of cooking.
I watch people when they are in the kitchen; the way the move (fast or slow), their ability to carry a conversation (on the phone […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com
Okay, you guys may think I am crazy, but I am agreeing with The View for once. {Anyone watch that? My mum loves it.}
I was stumbling about in that crack-of-dawn-11 a.m.-summer stupor, and my mum was watching The View’s fall fashion preview. And guess what?!! They highlighted hats, which I was very chuffed […]

By SOOZ
Yanxchick(at)gmail.com
Poker is smart.
Don’t believe me? Okay, maybe you’ll believe Charles Nesson. He’s only a Harvard Law Professor. Oh? You’re impressed suddenly.
Nesson, along with thousands of other poker players, have realized there is more to poker than just throwing your chips into the middle of the pot. Serious poker players know there is strategy, knowledge […]

By BEN SZMANDA
I read Mircea Eliade’s “The Myth of Eternal Return” in college, and I remember really enjoying it — right up until the end, where Eliade claims that the weight of history is so horrifying that we have no choice but to come to Christ. It made me cock my head a bit.
Why would […]

Dear Niki,
Here’s my question: My coworker has been less than honest to our boss and part of me feels like I should stay of it, and she’ll learn. But I feel it’s getting out of hand. He has read our boss’ and other people’s emails at work and tells me, he takes advantage all the […]

By TYLER DURDEN’S STALKER
She’s just so damn hard to ignore. As much as anyone wants to tune Britney out, the problem is she is everywhere.
It would be okay if she was everywhere in the Oprah sense. She’s in South Africa building schools. Instead, Britney is in hot tubs seducing gay men, drugging her children and […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Warning: This film depends on the build up of suspense, so to fully appreciate this movie, you should see it before you read my review. For those of you who don’t mind spoilers, another warning: in this instance, political intrigue is a lot more interesting on screen than paper. : […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
This isn’t the CBS Evening News, and I’m not Katie Couric. I’m not going to explain the conflict in Darfur because, well, there is CNN, punk bands and Wikipedia to do that.
But, there has been a crisis in the country in the Sudan since February 2003. A little over a year later, the […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)hotmail.com
On Monday, the one man who has spent the last several years making Curious George sound smart realized that it was a lost cause. Karl Rove announced Monday that he was stepping down as Deputy Chief of Staff to George W. Bush at the end of this month.
This comes as a huge blow […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Whether we like it or not, agree or disagree, beg or stomp our feet sometimes the enviable happens… people get fired.
Getting the ax is not fun. I do not have too much experience with this one. I’m thankful to report that I have always worked my butt off, usually sacrificing time and energy […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
Roxy’s sex and relationship article embarrassed me a little. I’m not a full blown “‘Tanya,” but I have had my stupid situations where I know my friends have felt helpless and annoyed with me.
In my case, I was never searching for Mr. Right; it was always Mr. Better Than Him. I had my […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Of course Tattoo’s paint cup would look like it needs some love and care.

By TY FREER
ty_freer@yahoo.comIn the “Washed Up” department, a sudden rise in Old NBA Players/Old Guys Screaming Nonsense in the Liquor Store Parking Lot wanting to make a comeback has developed.
Last week, Penny “Can We Go Back to 1995, Please?” Hardaway signed with the Heat, despite the fact that he is 36 and has only played […]

You might notice a few changes here at the cactus. We’re slowly, but surely, working to make this bigger and better for our readers.
First [[because I’m writing it first, not because these are in a descending order of importance]], we’re adding pictures to the upper-left of the columns now. The goal is to make the […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
There’s nothing more honest than a song, stripped down to a piano and a bit of drum for a beat, and a singer, starting off slowly and then soaring in a way only emotions could create.
If you know what I’m talking about, you’ll want to listen to Jenn Franklin’s Errors & Admissions. And […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8263(at)gmail.com
I was going through my home fries and toast kick for about a week, and then was asked to train my friend at the gym. I decided eating bad food would be a bad example.My friend, though, doesn’t like anything healthy. I mean really who doesn’t like salad? She doesn’t. She works in […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com”We are the cartoon heroes, oh woah oh….”
Who doesn’t love Aqua? I mean, for cereal now. Nothing like a bit of pop-girl techno to get you up in the morning.
Anyway, so you see, I was sitting at my computer listening to these profound, life-changing lyrics, and it suddenly jumped into my head that […]

By BEN SZMANDA
Paul Bowles’ frighteningly prescient novel, “The Spider’s House,” takes a look at the 1954 nationalist uprising in Morocco, and manages not only to succeed as a masterful novel, but to go a long way toward describing underlying problems which haunt us today.
The story follows a British expatriate named John Stenham, an American […]

By SOOZ
Yanxchick(at)gmail.com
A casino can be a scary place, especially for your wallet. When you play poker in the casino, one of the problems to overcome is the intensity of a live poker game.
You’ve heard so much about tells and doing little things that you wonder if you are throwing your cards into the muck the […]

By TYLER DURDEN’S STALKER
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Celebrity queens are fun to talk about. They are fun to look at. And, well, making fun of them is more than just fun, it’s a great way to past the time.
The problem is the likes of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan make it too easy for us. How many […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I was reading a fashion magazine, and the newest style was printed in black and white: sheer.
Not just sheer, but see through, actually. Basically putting all your bits and pieces on display for all the world to see.
Now, I know celebrities do have nip slips often — I mean, seriously, is there a […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
Bridge to Terabithia (2007)
In creating an imaginary world where obstacles cannot stop them, two young children learn how to conquer the real life obstacles that can.
Jess (Josh Hutcherson of RV and Firehouse Dog) is a shy eighth-grader whose only pleasures are running and drawing in his notebook. […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Good old OT. Some love it, some hate it. It can sometimes make or break a paycheck each week!
According to the Department of Labor, overtime occurs when an employer who requires or permits an employee to work overtime is generally required to pay the employee premium pay for such overtime work.
Employees […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)hotmail.com
The other day I was wandering around my local music store, looking at all of the shirts with cute little sayings on them, when a coffee mug with a picture of George Bush Sr. and the caption “I should have pulled out.”
This got me to thinking maybe this “war” really is his fault. […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I know this girl. Let’s call her Tanya because, well, it’s the first name that came into my head, and we should always change names to protect the innocent (but, honestly, there isn’t anyone innocent in this story — unless you count the fact that it started out with “I”).
Tanya’s a slut. I’m […]

By C.D. ALLEN
cdavidallen(at)gmail.com
With apologies to e-i-c Lisa, this is not the column I promised her for today. I wrote myself into a corner and couldn’t figure out how to salvage it in enough time to get this on the site. If I can make it make sense, I will recycle that one for […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping

By TY FREER
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
On Saturday night in San Diego, a plumber named Adam Hughes snatched Barry Bonds’ all-time-record-tying 755th home run ball as it bounced into the lower left-field seats of Petco Park. All indications are that Hughes will sell the ball/put it up for auction in the near future, where […]

It’s Saturday, my first day off in I can’t even tell you how long.
I woke up late and danced around my apartment to FER SURE, my new favorite song from my new favorite band, The Medic Droid.
I’m twirling around like a ballerina and grinding like I’m trying to get in my own pants. I’m sure […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I went to Warped Tour last week with my friend Allison, and we were accidentally stalking this guy from The Vacancies. He was carrying a bag of white pins that had black hearts on them. I wanted one, naturally.
We eventually bumped into him later, and I asked for a pin.
“Sure,” he said, telling […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)hotmail.com
Floppy, soppy, big, small, tall, tiny, mini, caps with flaps, and berets that are oh-so-French, let’s give it up for hats!! Everyone always seems to be far too afraid to wear these lovelies outdoors, but they shouldn’t be! Hats are fantastic! They keep us in the shade, they look cool, and they make […]

By MICHELLE RICCARDI
mia8364(at)gmail.com
Atlantic City’s two slogans are “Always turned on and “Caution: Adults at play.” I never really understood them until this past weekend when I went down to celebrate my dad’s birthday! I was exhausted after driving a whole extra hour because of traffic so after dinner I snuck away for a nap. Three […]

By SOOZ
Yanxchick(at)gmail.com
Becoming rich and famous isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, the rich part is fun. You can buy fancy cars, huge houses and play in all the poker games you want.
The famous part becomes a problem. Ask Phil Laak, known to poker fans as The Unabomber. Recently, a man called “Tom Grant” […]

By BEN SZMANDA
I guess Cees Nooteboom is known more for his poetry than his prose. Unfortunately — for us English speaking monoglots, anyway — none of his poetry has been translated into our tongue. What we do have is pretty good though: for example, his short novel “The Following Story” is definitely worth […]

Dear Niki,
I just graduated from college. My friend’s mother is very sick. Lately, my friend seems to be distanced and depressed. I’m really worried about her. My friend has always been very outgoing, but lately she seems withdraw. I’m not alone; other friends have also expressed concern about her too, but they say […]

By MICHELLE L.
satine81(at)aol.com
Linda and Jim have the perfect life: a beautiful house, two lovely daughters, and their whole lives ahead of them. But one fateful day is about to change all of that.
Linda Hanson (Sandra Bullock of While You Were Sleeping and Crash) wakes up on Thursday to find out […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
The burn healed up very nicely, for those of you who were worried at home. Neosporin is magical. Sure, the new skin is freshly pale — a stark contrast to the tan the rest of me is. But, thank you for all the emails of concern. I appreciate that.
So, you wanna know what […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
When the cat’s away, the mice will play. At least they do in my office. And nothing is as satisfying as when you get word that “the boss” is not going to be in today or he or she will be “working from home.” It’s as though a sense of […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)hotmail.com
In the last two weeks, we have came close to having our first female president. Two weeks ago, Bush underwent a routine procedure on his colon, last week Cheney had his pacemaker replaced. Now both of these are routine procedures, however if something had happened to both of these men, then the office […]