cactus i.v.

By CATHY S.
Sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Rob Knappman, 28, from Wilkes-Barre, PA is a 2008 A.I. hopeful who was featured in the Pennsylvania show.
Unfortunately, he did not make it to Hollywood, but he did get his 30 seconds of fame. He was featured in a montage of singers singing Joan Jett’s I Love Rock ‘n Roll. […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)yahoo.com
Now before anyone gets too excited about that headline, let me say this the following is not an actual announcement. It started out as a parody of the political season so far when one of my coworkers suggested I actually make it into a column, so here there […]

By ANDREW STEEVES
steeves(at)uwm.edu
It occurred to me, a month too late, that I never picked a best game of 2007. Though the New Year has already come, I feel it would be remiss of me as a gamer, nay, as a human being, if I didn’t weigh in my thoughts on the […]

By SOOZ
pokerinac(at)gmail.com
Women are making a bigger mark in the poker world everyday and don’t think Binion’s, home of Poker Hall of Fame, hasn’t noticed the softer side of the game.
Women in Poker Hall of Fame (WiPHOF) will debut Saturday at Binion’s Casino in Las Vegas. The inaugural inductees are Barbara Enright, Susie Isaacs, Linda Johnson […]

Dear cactus i.v.,
On Thursday morning I got the kids on the bus and retired to my office for the morning. For the first time in awhile I had no errands and was actually free until the kids arrived home at 2:30 p.m. I closed the door and started for the bed before looking towards my […]

By MELODY
MyMelody4u(at)gmail.com
In all relationships, without trust there is nothing to fight for; there is no foundation to build on and there is no security to call home. I am easily broken by trust. In my life I have been overly open with the people I love, allowing them to know my […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRAKI
goecities.com/tattoospinstriping
Your answer is not this guy’s, that’s for sure.

By Ty Freer
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
Back in week one of the football season, I made two foolhardy (but fun) predictions about the first two Monday Night Football games, guessing their scores and the action itself from the game. I happened to be right about the winners but wrong about pretty much everything else. However, […]

To celebrate birthdays here at the cactus, we usually post a picture of a cake and write a little happy birthday bit.
We thought about wishing Dizz a traditional cactus happy birthday with a picture of a traditional cake — but then we realized there was nothing about Dizz that was traditional. She’s a standout fashion […]

I randomly remembered my first job today. It was cutting out coupons for my parents. My dad would get the Sunday paper and sit the coupons aside. He’d cut out the ones we needed, discard the others and be on his way.
Well, I wanted in.
I was probably six at the time, and I knew nothing […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I tried to like The Donnas. I read the cover story about the band in Alternative Press, and I went to see them in concert. It wasn’t the chick rock that I hated as much as the way they were just angry, combat boot wearing, men hating women who sang about having sex […]

By DA Southern
dasouthern(at)gmail.com
I must admit that most of the good… and not so good news has been happening in the movie side of the entertainment aisle this week, from the Oscar nods to the unfortunate death of Heath Ledger, as well as many interesting movie openings and movie themed festivals, i.e. […]

By DIZZ TATE
dizztate(at)yahoo.com
It just so happens that it is my birthday tomorrow. Thank you, thank you, I am a jolly good fellow, we’re all jolly good fellows! Hurrah and hip hip hooray!
Anyway… it got me to thinking about all the birthday parties I have been to in my life; the mistakes — as well as […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
I threw my first party this week to celebrate my birth, 28 years ago. And since I love most things food, I wanted the food at my party to be a little more than chips and dip. So after years of watching tons of Food Network programming, I […]

By REESE WRIGHT
jrwrightxiii(at)yahoo.com
Here, recently, I ran into some rather huge mechanical bills with Jimmy. There was a lot of work that needed to be done with the oil system in it, and the grand total was in the ballpark of about $2500. A nice chunk of change mind you, but it […]

By BEN SZMANDA
I had every intention of being done with SciFi for a while. But then something happened: I was reading part of The Water Margin, and the temptation to bring up a topic I have refrained from mentioning before had become too strong. So we’re talking about William Gibson’s Neuromancer today.
If […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Don’t tell James, but I think Heath Ledger is gorgeous. That scene in 10 Things I Hate About You, when he’s singing down the bleachers, oh gosh, it made my heart happy. Heath Ledger is this beautiful man — despite the fact that my old friend’s friend apparently smoked weed with him once […]

By ROXY REATIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I went out to a bar a few weeks ago, and I could hardly take my eyes off the women who were wearing mini skirts in the dead of winter — and the guys who were raping them with their eyes.
I say “hardly” because there was a man who stole my attention for […]

By Cathy S.
Sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Has anyone noticed that there are a lot of semi-pros trying out this year? We saw Melanie Nyema audition in Philly where she told us she was a backup singer for Taylor Hicks.
Angela Martin called herself a full-time singer. Pia Easly is a model, musician and background singer and Colton Swon […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)hotmail.com
On Saturday night John “Don’t count me out yet” McCain won his second major primary of this election year by taking South Carolina. Mitt Romney won the primarily uncontested Las Vegas caucus with Hillary Clinton winning the Nevada caucus for the Democrats.
Now for those keeping score at home, that leaves Hillary with two […]

By ANDREW STEEVES
steeves(at)uwm.edu
The ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board) acts as the guiding light for parents by rating games according to appropriateness, like the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) but for video games. The ratings rank in the following order: EC-Early Childhood; E-Everyone; E10+-Everyone 10+; T-Teen; M-Mature; AO-Adults […]

By MELODY
MyMelody4U(at)gmail.com
Oh Tim, not another drama. If you read my last article you know all too well about my buddy Tim. He is the relationship over-thinker with an unneeded insecurity when it comes to the opposite sex. I could probably write about his woes and stresses for weeks, but I try very hard to refrain […]

By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
Dear cactus i.v.,
I have finally found an appropriate job title: I am the personal assistant to the Whitman family. Catherine and Harris are the parents of Jeff, 7, and Jane, 5. Months ago when I moved here I was employed as a live out nanny and was led to believe I would be […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Did you ever want to see what it looks like when James is tattooing? Now here’s your chance.

By TY FREER
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
INT. ARCHIE AND OLIVIA MANNING’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The Manning family sits around the dining room table. ARCHIE is next to his wife, OLIVIA, followed by their sons ELI, PEYTON and COOPER. The fivesome is just about to dig into their dinner of cut-up hot dogs, mac and cheese and […]

It would make sense to wish Melanie a happy birthday today since, well, she was born today many, many, many moons ago [[okay, not that many]].
But we here at the cactus also want to wish her congratulations for getting engaged to her long-time boyfriend Brian.
So, we’re torn: Which do we wish first?
Brian asked her to […]

I got this letter in the mail today, and it means so much to me, so I decided to share it with the world [[I hope the sender doesn’t mind]].
Dear cactus i.v.,
This letter is dedicated to the editor in chief, Lisa Sokolowski.
A few years ago, my cousin told me about this amazing conversation he had […]

By DA SOUTHERN
dasouthern(at)gmail.com
Thanks to the writers’ strike, TV viewers who don’t subscribe to Showtime will have the opportunity to check out the premium channel’s critically acclaimed drama, Dexter. An edited version of the first season of the series, starring Michael C. Hall of Six Feet Under fame, will premiere on CBS on Sunday, […]

By BEN SZMANDA
The author/narrator in Ivan Klima’s dense, thoughtful book Love and Garbage keeps returning to Kafka. It’s not specifically his stories that he keeps pondering, rather, he seems to be trying to get inside Kafka’s head, to figure out what he was thinking about and what he was attempting to do. Anyone […]

By REESE WRIGHT
jrwrightxiii(at)yahoo.com
Horsepower is a term that we hear constantly when dealing with automobiles. Although, anything that has an engine has horsepower, from a car to a watercraft. Some people do not understand what horsepower is, or for that matter how it works. In this week’s article we’ll take a look at this item and […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
The times when we can help ourselves and other people are far and few between (nothing, other than court-appointed community service comes to mind). Aéropostale is looking to change that with its Teens for Jeans campaign.
Basically, if you bring a pair of “gently worn” jeans to Aéro between January 22 and February 10,  […]

By CATHY S.
Sokocathy(at)gmail.com

Is Simon a little less harsh than previous years or am I just getting used to him? The worst comment he made to anyone, and he used it on two contestants, was that they were creepy. I did have to agree with Simon though. At least for Milo, 39, who […]

By ANDREW STEEVES
steeves(at)uwm.edu
When I rented NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams, I expected it to be a whimsical romp through an enchanted land of dreams. It wasn’t. The game displayed…
I’m sorry. I’m having difficulty judging this game, and the reason why is a pretty simple one: I’m not ten years old. Very little in the past has […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)gmail.com
After taking the last couple of weeks for reflection in Montana, I am pleased to be back in a rested frame of mind and am ready to tackle the New Year and all of the political news that comes with it. If my columns sucked, let me apologize that is what happens when […]

By Melody
mymelody4u(at)gmail.com
Recently, I introduced a former co-worker of mine to one of my best guy friends. Last year, proved to be my best match-making year and I wanted to squeeze one in before the New Year. From the minute they met it was an instant connection. Every time our group went out they spent most […]

By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
Dear Diary,
This week was one for the books. Friday night I called an old friend I hadn’t seen in weeks. We had once been interested in each other but in his presence those feelings seemed as if they were from a previous life. He persuaded me over around midnight for a movie. I […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
Lions and tigers and bears, oh my.

By TY FREER
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
Sunday Afternoon—4:19 p.m.—Ty’s Apartment:
……(silence)……(dumbfounded look)……(silence)……(look at score on television)……(silence)……(chug remainder of Bud Select bottle)……(silence)……(double-check score on TV)……(slowly straggle to fridge, open a new Bud Select, quickly down entire contents)……(silence)……(check score for third time, unchanging: Chargers 28, Colts 24)……(silence)……(rip off Manning jersey, search for lighter fluid and […]

I was getting gas the other night in Jersey, where it is illegal to pump your own. It works out well for me on those cold night, but not necessarily for the pump attendants.
It was pretty cold the other night, but I was driving from my parents’ house in New York, and I wouldn’t make […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
It was the mid-’90s when Billy Ray Cyrus’ mullet and Achy Breaky Heart ruled the airwaves. It was the biggest crossover hit for Cyus — the only one I can remember, if you want to know the truth.
But he stayed in the entertainment business, probably playing fairs and hoe downs. He moved his […]

By DA SOUTHERN
dasouthern(at)gmail.com
I seldom comment on the premium cable networks as I try to keep my observations to what most have access to. HBO has always been the stalwart when it comes to edgy and controversial programming with shows like The Sopranos and The Wire.
I have been a long […]

By LANIE PIMENTEL
petunia5045(at)gmail.com
Many things can bring on the need for some good old fashion comfort food. Bad weather, homesickness, a rough day on the job. One of my favorite comfort foods is Macaroni and Cheese. And thanks to people like Grandma and Kraft, Mac and Cheese can be a […]

By REESE WRIGHT
To every driver, there is one point where they have a real need for speed. As sport bikes go, the almighty crotch rockets never fail to deliver that pure pulse of joy when it comes to the thrills of the road. With Kawasaki’s new 2008 Ninja ZX-6R, you are […]

By BEN SZMANDA
The show Law and Order is ubiquitous; anytime you want to watch it — if you really feel compelled, for some reason — you can turn on your TV, change the channel no less than three times, and watch Richard Belzer beat up child molesters for an hour. This is because every […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
I was visiting my parents for Christmas, as were both of my brothers. My car was blocked in by my brother’s car, and he was sleeping (at 4 in the afternoon) when I had to leave. My parents had driven to the family party I was headed to in my mom’s mini van, […]

By CATHY S.
Sokocathy(at)gmail.com
Hey, it’s me, Cathy S., back at the cactus. Yes, it’s that time again. Time to prove to all of us that you can spot talent when you see it. Time to get out your paper and pencils and jot down the name of your guess of who will be […]

By ANDREW STEEVES
steeves(at)uwm.edu
I’m from Wisconsin (Milwaukee, specifically), and I have a certain level of pride in where I live. I remember checking out some magazine article a couple years back claiming Milwaukee to be the No. 1 Most Underestimated City in the Country. I wear that probably outdated fact like a […]

By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)gmail.com
Happy New Year: Let me take this time and wish everyone a Happy New Year. I apologize for the lack of a column last week. This will be my first column… of 2008. With that being said, it’s that time of the year where people make New Year’s resolutions and vow to […]

By ATARI JAY
dearatari(at)gmail.com
Dear cactus i.v.,
So I made the right choice. Jason immediately moved on and was seen at the bars all week chasing a variety of tail. Jenni, on the other hand, became needy of a new best friend and took me on as her new right hand.
Every night I met new guys who surprisingly […]

By MELODY
MyMelody4U(at)gmail.com
Dear Melody,
My best friend and her boyfriend sleep in the same room as their 1-year-old and 6-year-old sons. They are very sexually activate. When is it time for them to stop having sex in front of the kids?
Sincerely,
Questioning Friend
Dear Questioning Friend,
Wow, even for me this is interesting. I understand […]

By JAMES “TATTOO” CHAPRACKI
geocities.com/tattoospinstriping
I bet she had “faith” that the pain would go away later.

By TY FREER
ty_freer(at)yahoo.com
I’ve gotta admit, I’ve been pretty hard on Brett Favre this year. I’ve called him “Grandpa.” I’ve suggested he be the next Cialis spokesman. I’ve wondered if the workers at the Santa Maria nursing home in Green Bay are mad when he comes in late after a Monday Night […]

I read this online, and I enjoyed it so much, I had to share it with you all. Have a great week. - Lisa
A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to […]

By LISA SOKOLOWSKI
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
My brothers got Wii for Christmas. For months, all I heard about how fun it was going to be to play Mario and Sonic At The Olympic Games on Christmas morn — and I also heard how my youngest brother Mike was going to beat my other brother Joe at Guitar Hero 3.
My […]

By DA SOUTHERN
dasouthern(at)gmail.com
Well, we are all glad, in TV land, that the New Year has shown to our eyes some fresh programming. It started off fresh with the returning The Biggest Loser on New Years night, but this time it is couples competing against other couples. Well, if that […]

By BEN SZMANDA
“A clear case where one can do nothing,” I thought, uncomfortably aware that an earlier generation of travelers, the kind you find in Graham Greene novels, would certainly have tried to intervene, even if it involved a lot of unpleasantness for themselves. I have often been forced to see that […]

By REESE WRIGHT
rwrightxiii(at)yahoo.com
A Look at How to get Rid of an Old Ride, and How to Find a New One.
As the old saying goes around the New Year Holiday, “Out with the old and In with the new.” For most things, this is applied to every aspect of human living, whether […]

By ROXY RETAIL
cactusiv(at)gmail.com
Remember that shopping trip from last week — What? You don’t read my column on the regular? Sigh.
Anyway, I went on a shopping trip last week, which included a stop at Lids.
The hats there were very flashy, or, as my brother put it, “very uhhhh…”
Yes, very uhhhh indeed.
It was as if the makers […]

When I was in eighth grade or so, I liked the Miami Dolphins — but that had nothing to do with Dan Marino, who was a QB, not a commentator, at the time. It had to do with Jonathan Brandis.
My friends and I were crushing on him hard. I can still probably recite lines from […]

By ANDREW STEEVES
steeves(at)uwm.edu
Mass Effect has been, for a long time, one of the most hotly anticipated RPGs to come to the Xbox 360 since, well, I suppose Bioshock, though many people will argue that Bioshock is more a first person shooter than an RPG. This brings me conveniently and artfully […]

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By MELODY
MyMelody4U(at)gmail.com
Hey J-
So I think this is going to be the last email from me to you this year… funny huh? We are actually gonna be ringing in the new year together… think about all the changes from last year to now….wow
Are you happier now?
What would you like to do this coming year to make […]

By SOOZ
Yanxchick(at)gmail.com
Every New Year’s I make a resolution that has something to do with going to the gym. I belong to one and visit one often, but I am in casino more than a gym. However, it’s time to make a real resolution.
This year’s resolution is to become a better tournament player. I’m strictly a […]