I Am Pleased To Announce My Candidacy For President
By JIM MONTANA
jim.montana(at)yahoo.com
Now before anyone gets too excited about that headline, let me say this the following is not an actual announcement. It started out as a parody of the political season so far when one of my coworkers suggested I actually make it into a column, so here there you go. This is what a presidential announcement from Jim Montana would look like. And it might be the framework for a 2012 run, you never know.
With all of the talk lately about who can bring the most change to America, I thought it would be a novel idea to try my hand at the political machine. So let me start by saying that I am pleased to announce my candidacy for the office of President of the United States. Now I know many of you out there are saying that I waited too long to make the decision, well, you know, these decisions are not easy to make. I had to sit down and discuss this with my cat.
Next I would like to announce that I will be running on a completely terror-based platform; we have to make sure the terrorist do not win. Some will say that I am too young or ask what qualifies me for the office; to them I say that my record speaks for itself. Due to a lack of funds I will only be campaigning in the states of Tennessee and Montana. I feel that with those two states I can easily win the nomination. Who needs South Carolina, Iowa or New Hampshire? I will have Tennessee and Montana. If my two state strategy fails, then I will just stay in the race and refuse to realize that the dream is in fact over.
As far as to which party I am running for I will be running as a liberal conservative. I will stay away from dirty ads towards my fellow candidates. The American People care about the issues, not who can sling the most mud. I am running as the candidate for the American people, one who can restore trust in the country they love. I will restore our image in the international community and bring dignity back to the office of President.
As far as the issues go, this I where I stand: Immigration: There needs to be zero tolerance for any person who sneaks into our country illegally. There does not need to be amnesty cities for these offenders. If you want to be a citizen of this country, then you follow the rules in place to become a naturalized citizen — and most important of all, learn to speak English. It is our language. I should not have to get a translator just to tell me how to assemble a computer desk because the instructions are in every language but English.
Healthcare: Let me start by saying that the state of our healthcare system is in shambles. There needs to be healthcare for everyone. I propose that every person have a portion of their paycheck go toward a personal fund to pay for their healthcare if a expense arises that maybe your fund does not cover, such as emergency surgery.
Iraq War: We need to bring the war that has went on too long to a end, and the only real way to do this and not make a complete catastrophe out of it is to have a gradual reduction in troop levels. Within my first six months, I would reduce the number of troops by 10,000 and do the same every six months thereafter. Another option would be to pull all non-essential personal out, except for the basic need to protect the embassy over there. Bottom line is something needs to be done and done soon.
Economy: It is no big secret that the economy is in the toilet, and we have the previous administration to blame for that. The first thing that needs to happen is we need to cut spending on the war in Iraq. With us reducing troop levels that can be accomplished without sacrificing any of our troops. Next we need to stimulate the job market.
Another one of the issues that voters care about this election year is gay marriage. I do not support an amendment to the constitution banning same sex marriage; instead, I feel that if two people truly love each other then they should have the right to marry. This is not a subject that the government needs to get involved in. It should be left up to the voters of the individual states to decide.
You know, this whole Presidential campaign stuff seems pretty easy. All I need is several million dollars and to keep saying the same thing each and every time without variance, and I am a shoe in. And while all of the news has been about the top tier candidates, never count out the underdog to come from nowhere and win it all.
I decided to run because the American people are tired of the Washington politics and have lost faith in their government. It’s time for a person who is not owned by Washington lobbyists to speak up for the American people and implement policies that benefit the great people of this country.
So there you have it my mock Presidential announcement. With all of that being said, let’s look at the other news in the political world.
First, Dennis Kucinich announced this past week that he was dropping out of the race for President. Darn , I really thought he had a shot of winning too.
On Saturday night, the democratic primary in South Carolina went to Barrack Obama. It is no big surprises that John Edwards lost the primary. As I said last week I fully expect to see Edwards’ hopes die in South Carolina. I am shocked that Hillary lost by such a huge margin; I guess she can thank her husband Bill for that after all of the comments that she and Bill made concerning race. Now granted Hillary made her share of comments, however Bill just went overboard with them. I find all of this ironic that the state that led the charge of succession during the Civil War from the Union over the issue of slavery voted for a black man to be its choice for the nominee.
While we are on the subject of Obama, Caroline Kennedy, daughter of former President JFK, recently wrote an op-ed column titled “A President like my father” where she endorsed Barrack Obama, saying “He is the most likely candidate to bring change to this country like my father did.
On Monday, a day after the op-ed piece ran, the Clinton camp received it’s biggest blow so far when Ted Kennedy also endorsed Barrack Obama. Both of these endorsements come on the heels of a damaging loss in South Carolina on Saturday.
The Clinton campaign might want to limit exactly what Bill says in the future. This was, at one time, Hillary’s election to win, however if Bill keeps opening his mouth then Hillary will lose this race before it gets going at full steam. With the day and age we live in today, anything that a candidate says or does is bound to be caught on camera and even the most innocent of comments can be taken way out of context and used against a candidate.
On Monday night, our current President gave his final State of the Union address, and all that can be said about it was that he floundered another opportunity to make his mark in the history books. The speech, overall, sounded like any other State of the Union address.
The real story of the night happened away from the actual speech when Sen. Ted Kennedy greeted Hillary Clinton, and Barrack Obama — then turned his back on Clinton. Barrack Obama is starting to show his true colors, which is one reason that I don’t trust him. With Hillary, you know where you stand with her; she does not hide her feelings and that I think makes her more trustworthy.
Last but certainly not least, the GOP Florida primary took place Tuesday night with John McCain taking another victory followed by Mitt Romney in second and Rudy Guilani rounding out the top three. Speaking of Rudy, at the time of writing, it was announced that he will drop out of the race and endorse John McCain. While we are on the subject of dropping out, it has just been announced that John Edwards will also withdraw his name from consideration for President. So now that the field has been narrowed down considerably it appears as though it will be a show down between Obama and Clinton on the Democratic side and Romney and McCain on the GOP side.
Next week I will cover the GOP debate that occurs tonight and will have extensive coverage of super duper Tuesday or whatever they are calling it. Until next week.